


Uh, oh...

by brainofck



Category: Lord of the Rings RPF
Genre: Allergies, Food Kink, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-28
Updated: 2013-08-28
Packaged: 2017-12-24 22:29:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/945388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brainofck/pseuds/brainofck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Attack of the Cuntebago.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Uh, oh...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [green_grrl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/green_grrl/gifts).



John was tired, achy, and exhausted. Why was someone ringing his doorbell and pounding on his front door? He wondered if he should take up Viggo's habit of carrying around his character's very realistic axes. They might not take off someone's head (at least not particularly cleanly), but they were quite heavy, and he could use them to bludgeon unwelcome visitors about the head and shoulders…

He opened the front door with his best attempt at a gracious, welcoming smile, though with the state of his skin, he imagined it was probably more of a grimace.

Viggo slipped in (it seemed wrong to describe their Aragorn as "breezing by," even if he wasn’t in costume today) with a grin and a grunt, and the elf came bouncing in his wake. And to John's delight, there was the Man of Gondor, behind the elf, looking somewhat apologetic and stoic, a calm harbor in what appeared to be a brewing tempest.

"Well, hello, gentlemen!" John said to their retreating backs. They seemed to be headed directly for the kitchen. "What can I do for you this evening?"

"Vig forgot the can opener. Back out in a sec!" Orli called back. 

John found this announcement perplexing. He trailed along behind Beanie to find that Viggo was indeed rifling through his kitchen drawers. In the middle of one of the clean counters sat [a white and red can](http://www.campbellsoup.com/spaghettios.asp?cpovisq=). John picked it up bemusedly. One loop of pasta bounded cheerfully across the label.

"Viggo. As much as I admire and respect you, I am not going to allow you to feed me canned pasta."

At just that moment, Viggo found the can opener. He advanced on John, reaching for the can. John found the image rather menacing. He was almost relieved when Beanie plucked the can from his fingers and handed it to the artist.

"They're not for eating," Beanie purred in his ear. Why on earth was the man standing so close to him?

His eyes fell on Orlando, who was strangely still and composed. Sort of a cross between himself and his Elf. He was watching them with that intensity that he brought to the set every day. John found it very unnerving to have it focused on himself.

"Lighe taught Orli a thing or two about canned pasta that you would not believe," Viggo said, as he turned to open the can and pour it's garish red and white contents into a bowl.

"The psychological damage that is done to children in the movie industry," Beanie tutted, taking John gently by the shoulders and steering him out of the kitchen toward the stairs. "But in an actor of Elijah's stature, we all benefit…"

**Author's Note:**

>  **Blame:** Green_Grrl who posted a Teal'c/My Little Pony crossover fic in my journal, and who also unwisely said, "Even if the warning said . . ."JRD and a can of Spaghetti-O's" . . . I'd still click." Let the crack!fic wars begin! (I'm still working on the Frodo/EW/Teal'c crossover. . .)


End file.
